To My Dad – A Daughter’s Love Letter

In honor of upcoming Father’s Day, and as a tribute to all fathers, a re-post of the letter I wrote to my Dad for his 70th Birthday…

Dear Dad, 

How can you be 70 already?… You?…Age?!

Never, in my eyes…

Dad in his Early 20’s

You will always be young and dapper to me.

You were born the eldest of two sons, to a simple grounds keeper and a telephone operator, who did not have a lot by way of material things, but taught you instead to value the things that really matter, such as the importance of having respect and spending time with your elders.

My grandparents, Walter and Olive, were simply, in your words “the best parents in the world, from the last great generation”.

Dad with his Parents – 1942

I will never tire of your stories of them, and the lessons they taught you still live on through you and through your memories.  “Honor your father and mother, and your days shall be long on the earth…”  (How many times have you said this to me?).  I know how much you miss them. 

I miss them too.

You broke with standard convention, by falling in love with a “foreigner”, which was very scandalous in the 60’s, and quite news-worthy at that time in your hometown.  My mother was a young and beautiful nurse from the Philippines, and fate would see to it that after a lung collapse, in a weakened state, you would be put in her hospital ward, where she nursed you back to health.

Dad and Mom – When they first met

Within one year, you walked down the wedding aisle as man and wife.

She was a stranger to Canadian customs and culture, and you were ready to share all that you knew.  It was with you, that she first experienced snow, walking the streets together during a Canadian snow blizzard.  Your first date was to see “To Sir, With Love”.  You honeymooned in Ottawa, the Nation’s Capital at the Chateau Laurier, overlooking the Parliament Buildings.

You embraced her culture and heritage too, visiting the Philippines to ensure that all of her family, and especially HER father, would get to know you and learn about her new life in Canada.

Then, the following year, I was born!  All of a sudden, with my first intake of breath, YOU were a FATHER!

In your arms, I felt protected and safe, and for me, even now, the world will never be a scary place, as long as you are still in it…

Dad and Me

Rachel, my sister, came two years later.  Growing up, you built us a tree swing, hung hammocks, taught us how to feed chickens, collect eggs, pile wood, play chess, how to help Mom around the house, then later how to drive, and of course, how to seek out and be kind to others, especially those less fortunate.

Rachel and Me

As a father and teacher, you have always made the effort to guide us, sharing your version of what is right and what is wrong, but whether we listened to and followed that guidance has always been mainly up to us.  Never a strict disciplinarian (you left that to Mom!), you preferred an approach of logic and reason instead.

In fact, when you were just 37, you were MY Grade 4 teacher.  You always treated me and my classmates equally.  How young you were then!

Grade 4 Class of 1978-1979

You may have thought that you were a less-than-ordinary teacher, with no real memorable impact on your classes over the years, as you did not work hard to navigate the school system to position yourself for better career moves, or try to impress anyone.  You focused instead on paying attention to your students.  You were just being you.

Dad with Rachel and Me in our teens

The thinking games that you encouraged during our youth have carried on into adulthood.  Even now, you always challenge us with family guessing games, and obscure (and not so obscure) historical date trivia…

“Do you know what happened on this day in the Philippines in 1898?” you’ll say, …or… “Who can guess what happened in our family exactly 57 years, 8 months and 2 days ago?”.   No one loses; everyone always wins at our house!!  All family ears perk up with  the famous “I’ll give you a clue…”

You are a man who seeks and explores contrast.  You were raised to have faith, but by your own choice, you have never found a religion.  You struggled yourself through school, yet you became a teacher.  You chose a noble profession, yet you had no real ambition for greatness.

A Man of Simple Style – “Mr. Incognito”

I may have disappointed you sometimes, I know, though you are never too harsh with me.  I have yet to read the Bible (will I ever do it in your lifetime?), and despite all the quizzing, I still don’t recall important historical facts and dates, nor do I understand politics or recognize politicians to any degree, even though “a teacher’s daughter SHOULD know these things!”

Me and Dad at my Graduation – McGill U.1993

Did you prefer that I choose a path different from the one I am now on?  Yes, at times.  Thank you for trying to influence and prevent me from making mistakes, but at the same time, for giving me the confidence to decide for myself, and the courage to make mistakes of my own anyway.

From you, I inherited my forehead, my smile, my love for animals, a penchant for reading and writing, some tenacity, a complete disdain of anything related to paperwork, a love for family, and an empathy for my fellow man.

“The greatest gift a father can give to his daughter is to love her mother.”  Original quote from you…

Mom and Dad

We do not often say “I love you” out loud to each other, but the silent power of it within our family shouts out, for all the world to see and hear.

Dad with Me and Rachel

I am so very proud to be your daughter.  I still NEED you to guide and teach me, and please… oh please… may I continue to be blessed with you in my life, so that I may hear your wisdom as told to me, from your voice to my ears, for many, many years to come.

My Dad and Me, 43 years ago

Me and Dad on his 70th BD

 

Love always, your eldest daughter,

Rufina